Tip #133

Girls, no matter how sexy you are or what pose you're in, you're never sexy with a poncho on. It's the opposite of sexy. If you put a poncho over two models having having sex, they'll look like two hobos wrestling for a sandwich. In closing:

Poncho = Hobo Wrestler

Tip #132

If you have a lot of "sexy" profile pictures, I bet it's really easy to see you get "sexy" in person. Get it? (You're slutty)

Tip #131

If your a "baller," it's okay to hold a fist-full of money in your Facebook pictures. But if your not, photoshop doesn't help.

These poor girls had no idea they we're dealing with a CYBER BALLAAAA!!!

Tip #130

"Man I love hearing great news!!!!!!!!"

You do? Me too! Except I don't find the need to say things that are common knowledge. I won't be surprised when your next post reads: "Being sick is bad!"

Tip #129

Keep that profile picture up to date! There's no way to stop aging; haven't you seen Hocus Pocus?

Tip #128

If your profile picture is your Halloween costume and it's months after Halloween, I'll feel bad for your neighbors when you buy a house. Because you'll be the asshole that never takes down their Christmas lights.

Tip #127

Monday, Car, Traffic, Cold, and lots of other things that don't speak, don't speak. So stop writing to them in your status updates.

"Dear Car, Please work today!"

If it could reply it would say "I'd be a lot more comfortable letting you ride inside me if I knew you didn't suck. Beeep Beeeep. Sorry, about the beep. I was busy making more sense than you."

Tip #126

"OMG LOL HAHAHAHA that's sooo funny!"

If the phrases "Hahaha" and "OMG LOL" are in your comment, there's no reason to follow them up with "that's so funny!" Anyone know how to express laughter 3 ways in real life?

Tip #125

Don't be an idiot. When Facebook changes their layout, it's for the best. No need to mount an army of ignorance. Whether it's 100 idiots joining a group of hate or 1,000,000 idiots joining the group, it's still the opinion of idiots.

Tip #124

A doppelganger is someone that looks like you, NOT someone who is way better looking than you. Stop tricking me, Ugly Friends.