If you did the work you were supposed to do last night, you wouldn't be complaining about all the work you have to do on your snow day. No one feels bad for you because we're too busy SLEDDING!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tip #135
Pickles are good, but if they released an album, no one would buy it. On the other hand, if Nickelback decided to let people eat them, everyone would be a fan.
So think really hard before you join the Group "Let's see if this Pickle can get more Fans than Nickelback"
Tip #134
We get it, Northeast. It's snowing and you're trapped inside. All of your friends know it's snowing, because they also live in the Northeast. Don't post about something that millions of people can see by looking out the window.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Tip #133
Girls, no matter how sexy you are or what pose you're in, you're never sexy with a poncho on. It's the opposite of sexy. If you put a poncho over two models having having sex, they'll look like two hobos wrestling for a sandwich. In closing:
Poncho = Hobo Wrestler
Tip #132
If you have a lot of "sexy" profile pictures, I bet it's really easy to see you get "sexy" in person. Get it? (You're slutty)
Tip #131
If your a "baller," it's okay to hold a fist-full of money in your Facebook pictures. But if your not, photoshop doesn't help.
These poor girls had no idea they we're dealing with a CYBER BALLAAAA!!!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Tip #130
"Man I love hearing great news!!!!!!!!"
You do? Me too! Except I don't find the need to say things that are common knowledge. I won't be surprised when your next post reads: "Being sick is bad!"
Tip #129
Keep that profile picture up to date! There's no way to stop aging; haven't you seen Hocus Pocus?
Tip #128
If your profile picture is your Halloween costume and it's months after Halloween, I'll feel bad for your neighbors when you buy a house. Because you'll be the asshole that never takes down their Christmas lights.
Tip #127
Monday, Car, Traffic, Cold, and lots of other things that don't speak, don't speak. So stop writing to them in your status updates.
"Dear Car, Please work today!"
If it could reply it would say "I'd be a lot more comfortable letting you ride inside me if I knew you didn't suck. Beeep Beeeep. Sorry, about the beep. I was busy making more sense than you."
Tip #126
"OMG LOL HAHAHAHA that's sooo funny!"
Tip #125
Don't be an idiot. When Facebook changes their layout, it's for the best. No need to mount an army of ignorance. Whether it's 100 idiots joining a group of hate or 1,000,000 idiots joining the group, it's still the opinion of idiots.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Tip #124
A doppelganger is someone that looks like you, NOT someone who is way better looking than you. Stop tricking me, Ugly Friends.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
